Life Love
by Lauralaulau
Summary: Ronan had accepted during his Runner days that he would not find his life love, he wished the visions of pale skin with unique markings would stop haunting him. Some saw faces, places and smells he had a language and pictures he did not understand, love was not for him but why did he had these un usual feelings when around Dr. Beckett?
1. Chapter 1

Dr. Beckett smiled tiredly as he watched his friend Col. Shepperd rush out of the infirmitary, he never took it personal that his friends were always eager to get out of his care after returned from being off world.

Most military personell he knew had a strong dislike of the medical checks and testing, Teyla and Ronan did not understand most of Dr. Becketts skills or expertise but also regarding him as if his training was in fact a type of magic or voodoo as Rodney always explains.

Shepperd had left and Dr. Beckett knew that he would send in his next patient for the standard check post mission. He had already seen Rodney, the man was always first since he seemed to lean towards being a hypercondriac and with so many allergies he way always needing antihistermeans.

Dr. Beckett busied himself tidying up the mess Shepperd left behind but froze when he finally felt the presence and eyes of Ronan Dex staring into the back of his head silently.

Beckett swallowed the lump in his throat as he turned to face the larger man who grinned at him briefly as he continued to walk his way into the infirmitary,

Ronan sat himself up on the empty hospital bed and his intense stare watched Dr. Beckett expectantly. Ronan always enjoyed watching the Dr, he had felt an almost immediately trust, loyalty and respect for Dr. Beckett. The man had removed his tracking device under gun point and he treated Ronan with a calm, professional and non judgemental manner. Ronan was impressed the smaller man had not been more intimidating, he knew he had that effect on people in general and that softly spoken Scot had walked straight into a strange situation and with the steadiest hands under pressure freed Ronan from his seven year hell living as a runner.

"Doc" Ronan greeted briefly ignoring the warm feeling that starting swirling around in his stomach. He knew he enjoyed the Dr's company and could reply on him for anything but he did not understand the feelings that came to him when he was alone with Beckett. Ronan had long ago accepted that unlike many of his people he would not meet his life love. Like the other children in his youth he had the visions that showed him what to look for or how to recognise it. Some of his childhood friends visions had shown their partners face, a location they had not yet seen, a unqiue feeling, the sound of their laughter or the smell of their perfume. Ronan had travelled many worlds and as a runner saw more places than many of his kin but he never came across the person who had those unique markings on their skin that his visions had released to him years ago. Life as a runner meant that he knew even if he met his life love he would have to leave them for their own safely and for many years Ronan had expected his life as being one who would not find his true love. He had not spent all his time without spending some nights with a warm body to share the bed with but they were far between and they had left him feeling empty and never felt right as they all had no markings on their body like the pale limbs and glimpses his vision had shown him. He would seen it clearly in the back of his mind, a writing that he did not know or any one he had asked been able to identify, symbols he did not understand and odd drawings that confused him.

"Ronan, lad how are ya" Dr. Beckett smiled gently looking at the taller tanner man.

"Well" Ronan answered

"No injuries to report?" the Scot pushed

"Just a few scratches" he admitted gruffly

"Right, well lets see them then" Carson walked off to collect some basic equipment to patch Ronan up, he turned back around to see Ronan had removed his vest and after one moment of admiring the view noticed several angry gashes on his shoulders, torso and arms.

"Just a scratches ya say" He laughed kindly before calmly cleaning and dressing the wounds, he kept his eyes down focused on his work and absentmindedly started to hum along with the old CD he had playing out of his laptop in the office.

Ronan stared down as Carson worked studying him as Carson worked quietly, he felt that same feeling rush back to him as Dr. Beckett started to hum as he continued.

"Whats the song called?" Ronan asked, the Dr's face snapped up startled and Ronan realised his question came out quite sudden and harshly.

"Your humming" he added

"Aye" Carson answered "It's a song that my Mother use to sing to be as a lad" he answered honestly

"A tradtional song of your people?" Ronan asked

"Aye, a common song from where I am from"

"Scotland" Ronan added remembering the conversation he had with both Carson and Shepperd separately to explain to the new comer why Dr. Beckett had a very different sounding voice and said things slightly different than the others.

"You remember, well done lad" Carson smiled happily

"Sing it" Ronan asked again in his slightly gruff tone

"Ohh, no lad I don't sing well" Dr. Beckett answered looking away

"Sing it" he asked again in a more gentlier tone

Becket sighed softly and looking down at his hands as he continued to roll back up the un used part of the banage he did not use on Ronan he softly sung

" By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes,

Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond,

Where me and my true love will ne'er meet again

On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond.

Oh! ye'll tak' the high road and I'll tak' the low road,

And I'll be in Scotland afore ye;

But me and my true love will ne'er meet again

On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond.

'Twas then that we parted in yon shady glen,

On the steep, steep side o' Ben Lomond,

Where in purple hue the hielan hills we view,

And the moon comin' out in the gloamin'.

Oh! ye'll tak' the high road and I'll tak' the low road,

And I'll be in Scotland afore ye;

But me and my true love will ne'er meet again

On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond.

The wee birdies sing and the wild flowers spring,

And in sunshine the waters are sleeping,

But the broken heart, it kens nae second Spring again,

Tho' the waeful may cease frae their greeting.

Oh! ye'll tak' the high road and I'll tak' the low road,

And I'll be in Scotland afore ye;

But me and my true love will ne'er meet again

On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond"

He finished before turning away but Ronans strong hand held onto his shoulder

He smiled at himself thinking of his mothers voice as she would sing to herself as she cooked and cleaned their small home as he grew up. His father had been an unpleasant shadow that he choice to ignore.

"Thank you for sharing your song with me" Ronan stated standing and after a nod of farwell to the Dr. walked out of the infirmity passing Teyla as she came down to get her post mission exam.


	2. Chapter 2

Life at Altantis continued as it always did with threats coming, injuries and trade agreements keeping the teams busy off world and when not off world Carson found himself being dragged along for movies and coffee and the small amount of down time Shepperd and his team had.

Once again Dr. Beckett found himself being taken off world under the care and supervison of Col. Shepperd and his able team, the lastest village they had been exploring and discussing possible trade agreements had realved that they had several elders that looked like they needed medical assistance and here Dr. Beckett was trekking into the old village towards a large stone temple.

The temple was surrounded like most a river and it was situated on a cliff with running rivers and small waterfalls with endless stairs leading up into the temple.

As the team reached the temple they found their path went directly to a river and a small waterfall, one of the temple workers stood on the opposite side of the river and greeted them kindly.

"We welcome you and the elders are eager to see your healer" he stated

"To enter you must be cleansed and washed in your holy river" he stated

After several more questions from Col Shepperd it had slowly been explained that they must cross the river and under the waterfall to be washed clean to enter the temple, they would be given clean "pure" robes once they re amerged from the river.

The boys kindly turned their backs as Teyla removed her clothing and crossed the river, passed under the waterfall and she exited the water she quickly dressed before she yelled over the shoulder that she would meet them inside the temple door. Teyla and the temple worker disappeared around the corner and the remaining men stood at the waters edge. Shepperd slapped Rodney on the shoulder and smiled "Off you go Rodney"

Rodney muttered under his breath as Shepperd turned around and walked over to Dr. Beckett and Ronan

"well" he laughed "nothing like a shower after a long walk"

Dr. Beckett was looking down at his feet awkwardly

"You right Doc?" Shepperd asked as he started to remove his shirt

"Aye" he muttered fiddeting with his clothing he looked down again after noticing Ronan had removed most of his clothing but his pants.

"You embrassed Doc" Shepperd smiled cheekily

"Got something under those clothes we should know about" he smiled

Ronan walked to the waters edge and after quickly removing his pants did the same trek to the other side before dressing and looking back over the other side at the remaining men.

"We should hurry" he called over the river

SHepperd looked at Carson who was still looking down at his feet before turning and quickly crossing the river as well. He dressed and turned around after joining Ronan on the river edge

"Come on Doc" he called

Dr. Beckett walked down to the waters edge and picked up the rope that Shepperd had thrown over, he looped it through the medical kits and after tying it he pushed it into the river and turning abck around after he could hear Ronan and Shepeerd pull the items over he started to undress himself. He had removed all but his shorts and a chesty singlet when he heard Shepperd whistle crudely.

"Who knew you were so fit Doc" he laughed "and is that a tattoo I see?"

Carson smiled thinking of his tattoo that ran over and around his calf and knee. The inked barbed wire covered what was a quite large scar from a knee surgery.

"Aye" he called

"Don't be embrassed Doc, its only one little tattoo" he laughed

"I ain't embrassed by me tattoos lad, and I got more than one" he snapped as he removed the rest his clothes and quickly entered the water.

He had not heard the surprised laugh of Shepperd or the shocked look on Ronan's face as he had entered the water and they briefly saw more inked skin.

Carson climbed out of the water and quickly wrapped the robe around his bottom half of his body and picked up another shirt before a hand touched his shoulder stopping him.

"What are these markings" Ronan asked, his eyes exploring the Dr. exposed body.

"They are tattoos lad" he answered "permanent drawings"

"What is this one" Ronan asked running his hand softly over the back of Carson's back

Carson tried to hide his bodies response to the gentle touch and the shivers that ran down his spine.

He sighed as Shepperd walked over and stood next to Ronan looking at the Dr's back, he was grateful when SHepperd answered Ronan's question.

"That is a drawing of the spinal cord and these" Sheperrd pointed too "are angel wings. The main religion of Earth, and Doc's religion includes these holy beings who have feathered wings, like a birds"

"Angel" Ronan repeated as he ran his hand to Carson's side and he gently turned the doctor around as he looked at the unfamiliar writing on the mans side.

"And these" he asked, Carson looked at Shepperd who shook his head

"It says Gra, Dilseacht, Cairdeas" the Dr. answered

"its Scottish gaelic, the old language of my people"

"what does it mean"he pushed

'Love Loyalty Friendship" he answered

Ronan nodded as he ran his hand up Carson's side to his chest and he traced the image his saw over Carson's heart.

"This" he asked

"It is my family crest and tartan from Scotland" he stated

Ronan wrapped his hand over Carson's wrists and pulled it to the side making Carson expose the inner side of his bicep

"These" Ronan pushed

"The left says Gillian, the one stolen and the right says Edmund the one failed"

"Kin?" Ronan asked

"Aye, my siblings they both died many years ago now"

"And this one" Ronan asked again moving around to Carson's back and tracing the barbed wire on his knee and calf"

"That was a drunken night out and I decided to cover my rather ugly scar"

"Dam Doc, I am surprised" Shepperd stated looking at the now blushing man

Carson surprised both men when he laughed loudly

"Well lads, your not the only ones who have had interesting lives" he stated

"OH come one Doc, you can't tell us that and not tell us more" Shepperd laughed

"You never asked and I never told" he answered before walking into the temple and pulling his shirt over his head.


	3. Chapter 3

Days had past since Carson had returned to Atlantis, he had slept happily that night in his own bed that night. He had crawled out of bed that morning and when he had arrived at the mess was quickly waved over by Shepperd to the table he was sitting at with Ronan, Rodney and Teyla. He placed his coffee and apple on the table and sat down with a kind smile and greeting at each member

"Doc" smiled Shepperd

"Colonal" he politely smiled

"We were thinking of watching a movie tonight, you in?"

"What movie"

"Wizard of Oz" he answered

"If I don't have anyone appear in the infirmitary then sure"

"Bring a date" Shepperd smiled

"Nay" Carson smiled

"You do not have a partner Dr. Beckett" Teyla asked ignoring the look Ronan was giving her after there talk a few days earlier when Ronan had stated he did not understand the relationship customs of the Earth people

"Nay" Carson answered

"On your home world do your people not get assigned partners from birth?"

"Nay lassie, we chose them ourselves and sometimes it does not end like you want"

"I do not understand"

"It's a little confusing even for me lass, what do your people do?"

"Well my people usually have their partners chosen for them from birth by their families. Ronans people are different"

Carson looked at Ronan expectantly

"Ronan?" he asked when the larger man did not answer

"Our life loves are pre determined when we are born, the stars align the two souls that will be the best for each other at birth. We do not know who they are but when we come of age we receive visions that tell us about our future love"

"Visions lad?" he pushed

"Yes, for some it is the face of the one, a smell, sound, picture or place, a feeling it depends on the person. We seach for the person that matches our vision and once we find them we have the greatest happiness we will ever have"

"Huh" Carson answered

"We do not do either. We find people and we try, if it doesn't work and they are not the one we try again until we find ours"

"That sounds very messy" Teyla answered

"Yes it can be it can be very distressing when you think it is the right person and then they leave you"

"You have been hurt Doctor?" Teyla asks for her friend Ronan

"Nay, I've hurt someone because I couldn't be who she wanted me to be"

"She thought you were the one?"

"Aye, and I tried to be but it didn't feel right for me. I found myself wishing she was different and that wasn't fair to her, she found out I was not being honest and she has hated me ever since." He continued getting worked up

"She was my best friend and it was expected that I married her but I couldn't, it wasn't fair and she had been my closest frend for years, I told her all my greatest secret too betrayled me and told the whole town that I preferred her to be a he"

"He" teyla asked as the table went silent and Shepperd and Rodney stared at the Scot.

Colour flooded his cheeks, anger flashed on his usual gentle features and a cold angry and harsh voice swore

"Fuck, I aint gay. She just told everyone that. I AM NOT GAY" and without looking at the people sitting at the table Carson stood and rushed out of the mess.

"I do not understand, did I upset him?"

"No Teyla" Shepperd answered "Back home some people who not approve of men being with other men"

"Why?" She asked concerned for the larger man sitting near her

"If that is who they are destined to be with who are they to deny them happiness" she pushed angrily

"I completely agree Teyla but some people back home do not"

"He is worried we will not want to know him now" he added in explaination


	4. Chapter 4

Dr. Beckett was hiding out in his infirmitry all afternoon, he had busied himself with cleaning out a few things and the never ending pile of paper work.

It was mid evening when he heard the footsteps of someone coming into his office,

"Doc" a deep voice greeted

"Ronan" he answered avoiding the mans eyes

"Come on" Ronan stated moving towards the door

"Well, I still, its just I"

"Your coming" Ronan firmly added

"Ronan, lad I"

"Your coming" Ronan stated again placing a hand on his shoulder and started to steer the Dr towards the door

"I…..I"

"Carson" Ronan stated softly looking kindly at the smaller man

Carson's eyes snapped up at the soft way his name was spoken on Ronan's lips

"We do not care, and if anyone does you let me know and I'll fix it. After all if they have a problem with you then they will have a problem"

"I'm not gay" he quickly answered defensively

"You! I mean, lad, I didn't I mean I don't understand" he stuttered a moment later

"My life love is male"

"So just like that you would be ok with it"

"Yes, I have faith in my visions and its meant to be"

"Gods' will be done" the scot answered softly

Ronan looked at his life love confused

"It's a religious saying my Mother uses. If its god's will then it will happen. She also liked "gods plans aren't always your plans"

"Destiny"

"Kinda lad, kinda. Anyway lad, I don't mind you are but I aint gay"

"Gay?"

"Attracted to men"

"You do not find me attractive?" Ronan asked smiling cheekily walking closer to the smaller paler man

"I…I…well"

Ronan walked the doctor until he was against the wall and Ronan looked down at him, trapping him

"Ronan" Carson stuttered nervously

"Yeah" Ronan answered his voice husky and deep

"I, I, what..I" Carson blushed again, the red flush stretching down his cheeks to his neck and under his shirt

"Tell me what you want" Ronan pushed, one arm above the Dr's shoulder and the other at the Scots waist. Ronan leant forward and stared down at the man he had pinned beneath him.

Carson stared into Ronans eyes, he felt his body absorbing the heat the larger man was producing and his mind would not agree.

His body was telling him this felt wonderful, a small part of his brain was telling him to lean forward just that little bit to kiss the other man but after this thoughted crossed his mind another voice would scream at him.

"Carson" Ronan muttered leaning down slightly

The screaming voice in Carson's head was screaming loudly telling him that it was wrong, a sin, these thoughts were inappropriate and dirty They asked him mockingly what his mother would say. That it was against god and he would burn in hell forever.

"Ronan" Carson muttered with conflict and desire filling the gap of words he did not speak

"Talk to me" Ronan asked

Carson closed his eyes as his body was begging him to lean forward but his brain continued to scream at him, sinful, shameful, wrong, inappropriate and dirty.

"No, no" Carson muttered, his eyes still closed but he leant into Ronan, hiding his face against the mans neck

"Wrong, wrong, shameful, unnatural, sinful, against God, sinful, shameful, dirty" he repeated several times over in a voice so broken and soft that Ronan only just heard him

"Why is it wrong?"

"Sin against God, God created man and woman. Wrong, shameful, unnatural" he muttered eyes still closed as his internal battle continued but tears started to leak from his eyes and Ronan could feel the damp liquid on his neck as Carson continued to mutter and cry

Ronan wrapped his love gently in his arms pulling him closer

"Carson" he asked concerned

"God said it was wrong" Carson sobbed as more tears poured from his tightly clenched closed eyes

"Your God made you didn't he?" Ronan asked

"In his image" Carson repeated between sobs

"Why did he make you this way if it was wrong?" Ronan challenged

"He made you and if you want to be with a man then isn't it your Gods doing"

Carsons eyes opened as he looked at Ronan with a new embrassased blush colouring his face

"I am so sorry lad" he stepped away from the larger man and wiped the last of the tears off his face.

"Carson" Ronan asked stepping closer and a heavy sadness filled his heart as the Dr stepped back again and turned his back on the other

"I'm not gay" he answered weakly

"I do not find men attractive" he added with even less conviction

"I do not find you attractive Ronan" he sobbed as tears spilled from his eyes again, he turned and quickly left Ronan standing alone in the infirmatry


	5. Chapter 5

Ronan had spoken briefly with Shepperd, speaking only to enquiry about the religions of Earth, he found it all completely odd that a God could make you but make a human in a way that was wrong and sinful. Didn't he make you that way for a reason? Shepperd found one of the younger marines had a small bible in with him personal affects and borrowed it giving it to Ronan asking

"Why the interest in religion"

"I have found my life love" Ronan answered honestly

"Well congrats man" Shepperd smiled slapping him on the shoulder happily, when he noticed the lack of smile on Ronan's face he became concerned

"Whats the problem?"

"He is male"

"So"

"He believes that it is wrong to be with a man, his religion disagrees"

"Ahh" Shepperd "complicated" he added

"Yes" Ronan sighed

"Well, I suggest you change that" Shepperd smiled

"How?" Ronan asked sitting down and looking at Shepperd expectantly

"I do not understand your ways very well" he added

"Well, its not me is it? Ask him to help ya"

"How?"

"Well don't tell him your love is male and ask him to educate you about religion and our culture or ways to get to know your life love"

"Lie to him?"

"No, just keep certain information to yourself. Like who exactly your love is"

"Thank you Col" he answered standing up

"Its not me is it?" Shepperd smiled

"I have some standards Colonal" Ronan smiled

"I'll help ya if ya tell me who it is" he answered laughing

"God knows someone here at Atlantis may as well find love" he added

"So who is the unlucky sod who is going to have you change everything he ever thought he knew about himself"

Ronan flashed a dangerous predatory smirk

"Carson Beckett" he answererd

"God help him" Shepperd laughed thinking of the nervous doctor

"I was preferring God leave him to me"


	6. Chapter 6

Shepperd smiled as he sat down in front of Dr. Beckett in the mess hall, with Ronan following him closely behind and joining them

"What's up Doc?"

"Colonel" he answered "Ronan" he added

"Wondering if you could helps me Doc"

"Aye, whats the problem lad"

"I'm trying to educate Ronan"

"On what lad?"

"Ronan has found his life love" SHepperd smiled

"Congrats Ronan" Dr. Beckett answered sadly looking down

"Yeah that's what I said but it seems Ronan doesn't have a clue how to woo his life love since us people of Earth have a different well way of doing everything"

" I don't understand"

"Ronan needs a crash course in Earth customs and culture, religion and how to date or woo someone from Earth"

"Right, and how do I come into this?"

"Well I'll teach him the dating and wooing part and I was hoping you'd teach him the other stuff"

"The boring stuff"

"No, the other really important stuff" Shepperd smiled

"I think you'd be better at this Colonel"

"Nah, I'm a horrible teacher, I figured Ronan don't need that much help with the wooing, " Shepperd laughed "He's a good looking guy after all" SHepperd added

"Aye, alright alright, fine I'll help ya" Carson sighed before the penny dropped

"after all if we let just Colonel Shepperd teach ya lad, you'd never get ya love" he smiled, he looked at Ronan and smiled hoping his smile spoke for him. Carson's thoughts filled in the gaps that they had not spoken, Ronan's love is the Colonel and Carson hoped that the Colonel would be gentle with Ronan, maybe he would surprise them all and return Ronan affection.

"Fine, I'll help ya laddie"

"Thank you Carson" Ronan answered looking at the fair skinned man in the eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Ronan had had several lessons with Carson over the next few weeks, of course he was never having classes with Shepperd but when Carson asked Ronan would smile and say they were going well.

It had been over a month by the time that Carson final asked

"Come on lad, tell me you had any luck with ya life love yet?"

"No" Ronan sighed

"Tell me, what the Colonel got ya doing?"

"Spending a lot of time with them when we are not off world"

"Is it going well?"

"I enjoy his company more than anyone else's but no its not"

"Why?"

"Ive done everything you and the Colonel have said. I've spent time, complimented, humour, I've been slowly adding more physical touch with them so I don't startle them"

"Them being a he" Carson added

"Yes, I have learnt many of your people's customs and cultures. I have learnt that you need to date and get to know your life love and not just assume they will be with you because it is destiny"

"Yes, we like our free will" Carson added

"I have given gifts, brought meals and drinks. I have tried to make myself look less threatening and I have talked more about myself than I have in years" Ronan sighed after ranting

"I don't know what else to do. He doesn't even notice how hard I am trying"

"What would happen if your life love was of your people"

"I would of kissed him the minute I realized and he would see the visions that have been appearing in my mind since I was a child. I would see his too, normally both get visions, He would feel the connection and not doubt it but I do not know if him being from Earth will mean he will fight it"

"Ive done everything I can think of"

"Well almost everything lad" Carson answered wanting to ease his friends pain

"Almost?" Ronan asked

"Aye" Carson answered "Since I do not know who your life love is I can't pretend to tell you how he will act but if its meant to be as ya say then I reckon lad that you just need to kiss him" he reasoned

"Kiss him" ronan repeated as he fought back a smile

"Aye lad, either he will feel that vision connection thingy or he might try to hit ya but its not like you're a lad easily knocked out" Carson laughed

"Well don't go attack him in the middle of the mess hall with lots of people around or something" Carson added

"I don't understand"

"Well don't jump his bones in the middle of Altantis"

"So when do I kiss him"

"Somewhere private" Carson smiled kindly as he carried some empty medical supplies over to the cabinets and nodded at his nursing staff as they arrived to replace himself and the rest of the night shift.

"You'll be right lad, have a good one" he slapped Ronan on the shoulder in farwell, wandering to his quarters to have a couple of hours sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Ronan sat with Colonel Shepperd after wasting a few hours on a training session with him, he stood and excused himself choosing to ignore Shepperds remark

"Say hi to the Doc for me"

Ronan knocked on the door of Carson quarters and opened the door after he heard Carson yell

"Aye, come in"

Ronan stepped into the modest room , noticing that the standard bed was surrounded with books, dozens of books stacked on top of each other in hazard piles with coffee cups and pens, files and note books on the top.

Ronan looked around for Carson, found him with his back to him digging through a duffle bag, his back was exposed, his tattooed spine bending like his real one as he tried to find a clean shirt to pull on. His track pants he had slept in clinged to his hips as he stood upright and turned around

"Oh, Ronan lad" he exclaimed "Everything ok?" he added

"Yes" Ronan answered crossing the small room and stopped just short of the smaller man

"Close your eyes" Ronan asked

Carson gave Ronan a confused look but after a moment lowered his eye lids non the less.

Ronan placed one hand on the side of Carsons face and stepping closer until his chest was almost flush with the doctors he leant forward and placed two feather light kisses onto each closed eye lid.

Carson voice hitched in his throat and a surprised snort of breath intake escaped his lips but Ronan softly hushed him and continued to place chaste kisses onto Carson face but avoiding the Scotman's lips.

"Ronan" moaned the overwhelmed man as his senses became filled with the feel and smell of another being but when Ronan answered with a deep chuckling laughter Carsons eyes snapped open and he stepped away with a panic on his face

"Carson" Ronan stated reaching for him again

"What the hell was that? I know your upset that you and the Colonel haven't figured things out yet lad but this is wrong"

"Colonel Shepperd?" Ronan asked confused

"Aye"

"Colonel Shepperd!" Ronan repeated

"Aye, after all this work you've put for him"

"Carson, you are so determined not to see it aren't you?"

"See what lad"

"My life love is not Colonel Shepperd"

"Who is it?"

Ronan smiled patiently at his life love, he stepped forward and after pulling Carson flush against him with a firm hand on his hip

"Please Carson, don't fight me anymore" He placed his other hand at the base of Carson's neck and gently played with the hair at the nape where it was starting to curl and need a cut.

"Don't think, don't over think it, don't do anything" Ronan answered as he gently placed a chaste kiss to the left of Carson's lips then to the right side.

"Ronan" Carson muttered weakly

"Its not wrong Carson, its what was meant to be" Ronan added as he placed a kisses along his jaw

"Meant to be" Carson answered distractedly

"love isn't wrong"

"Love isn't wrong" he added as kisses reached his neck and collar bones

"That's right love" Ronan soothed as he looked Carson in the eyes

"Ok?" he asked wanting the doctors full permission

"Aye" Carson sighed

Ronan leant in until his breath ticked Carsons lips and Carson could feel the warmth radiating off the other mans lips. When Ronan didn't lean further forward Carson licked his lips and in a swift fast motion he placed both his arms around Ronan neck and brought their lips together.

Both men sighed into the kiss, Carson saw images flashing in front of his closed eyes. He saw drawings on pale skin, his tattoos at odd angles and a new one he hasn't got, a celtic R placed above his wrist. As quick as it came the images were gone, Ronan saw his own tan hand holding a pale hand but his hand had a small drawing inbetween the thumb and index finger, a decorative C.

Carson stepped back and looked into the dark eyes in front of him, he looked down blushing slightly.

"Do you understand now?" Ronan asked placing a hand on Carson's heart

"You feel it?" he added

Carson's cheeks blushed increased as he nodded lightly

Ronan flashed a smile that expressed his happiness at finally finding his life love. He wrapped his arm around Carson waist and pulled him closer

"Good" he sighed before placing another kiss on his lips briefly, he sat down on the Doctors bed and pulling the Scot down with him, Ronan leant back on one muscler arm and held Carson firmly on his lap with the other. Carson had one leg either side of Ronan's thighs, his knees bent and his leg almost folded underneath him.

"When do you go back on shift" he asked

"Not for a few hours" Carson admitted

"Good" Ronan repeated as he moved his hand from Carson hip to his neck and sitting up slightly captured Carson lips in a kiss that was more intense and passionate than the previous sweet ones. Ronan did not want to push Carson too far but the electric shoots that ran down his body when Carson started to kiss him back with enthusaiam was too much to resist. He begged entrance to Carson mouth and when the smaller man sighed allowing it both men moaned when their tounges slide against each other for the first time.

When the lack of oxygen finally became an issue Ronan pulled back and smiled at his love happily

"Good" Carson answered


End file.
